AFARIN MANSOURI (Toronto, Canada)
My creative work originates from a very deep emotional connection to a place that I am not normally connected with. There is a metaphorical knowing here - a knowing which is different from a knowing of knowledge which happens in my intellect and I recognize that. I am getting to a point that I am going to believe that there is an absolute consciousness in this world and I can connect to it on some levels in some moments.
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I had this one very strange experience in my life. I had a miscarriage n 2012. The baby was still in my belly and it was gone obviously. The doctors gave me a date for surgery to take it out, but I had to wait for one week. So I had to deal with that baby, knowing it was gone. This was one of my darkest emotional states I suffered so much - I was suffering and suffering and praying inside. One night I had a dream - I am standing in a place and there are so many lights and so many people around and I am singing a song for them. And the song with the melody and the song wit the poetry are so clear . And I was waking up at 6.30 am and wrote it down in my own language, I speak Farsi. Then the feeling was gone, the suffering pain was gone and I was so happy, This was very interesting as the subject of the poetry of that song was celebrating life and moment. Because life is love and you just celebrate. I didn’t know where that came from. This was the first time that also the music was given to me, I did not have to try to write the notes. The melody was written already, I was performing and singing it. This was in 2012.
In the year 2016 the director of a theatre company was calling me and asked me to sing in Farsi at his Gala event. He came to my place and I showed him this and that and this and that and suddenly I remembered that song from 2012. I played it to him and that was the song he chose, he said this is you, when you sang this song you sounded different from when you were singing the other ones. The night I performed this, the setting was exactly the same as in the dream I had had: the lights shone in my face, I could feel the presence of the audience without seeing them. They are all seated around me and I am in the middle of that circle. I don’t know what to say - sometimes I am speechless. I know that the mind can create something like this, it sometimes makes irrational connections, but …. What can I say?
In the year 2016 the director of a theatre company was calling me and asked me to sing in Farsi at his Gala event. He came to my place and I showed him this and that and this and that and suddenly I remembered that song from 2012. I played it to him and that was the song he chose, he said this is you, when you sang this song you sounded different from when you were singing the other ones. The night I performed this, the setting was exactly the same as in the dream I had had: the lights shone in my face, I could feel the presence of the audience without seeing them. They are all seated around me and I am in the middle of that circle. I don’t know what to say - sometimes I am speechless. I know that the mind can create something like this, it sometimes makes irrational connections, but …. What can I say?